A Conversation with Gaia, Continued.

 

"My goddess. Gaia. My earth mother."

"My child."

"What am I? Who am I?"

"Wouldn't you like to know."

Silence. No response.

"What? Petulance? Not the answer you wanted? How many times have these questions been asked? Why do you suppose you are more worthy than any who have come before you?"

"People say they know of past lives. Many talk of God."

"You know well people will say anything."

"Yes, but..."

"Yes, but...you are as old as the stars."

"That is one answer."

"Of many."

"It is a clee-shay." ************cliche'

"If it means nothing to you, you are not ready to hear more."

"It means much to me. I know the atoms that are at the core of my body are pretty much as old as the universe. There is a deeper reality though, I know."

"What are you doing now, that you would not be doing otherwise? You know what I mean."

Pause. "There was a woman. I might have entertained her tonight."

"And you did not make the offer, why?"

"I have little money."

"Is she a whore, that you would have to pay her to entertain her?"

"No."

"Then what about money did you need to be entertaining?"

"It is too much trouble."

"And what did you say to yourself when you first saw her?"

Silence. No responce.

"What did you think when she later presented herself to you?"

Silence. No responce.

"What about the easy talk?"

Silence. No responce.

"So what is the point of knowing who and what you are, if you are incapable of enjoying yourself? Incapable of enjoying another?"

"I..."

"I, I...Me, Me. What if you knew the answer to the questions you ask? Would you be satisfied? Would you be ready to die? Would you be ready to live?"

"I am ready to die."

"You are a coward and a weakling. You are not ready to die. You know nothing of death. You know little about life. Though you have been here now some forty years."

"I know much about this life, and death."

"You know more about who and what you are than you are acknowledging."

"What I think I know is preposterous."

"Any more than this conversation?"

"Yes, in fact."

"Well then, what are you going to do?"

"That is what I am wondering."

"You think you know so much. Why do you ask me?"

"Confirmation. Or clarity."

Silence. No responce.

"You will not answer, my goddess?"

"Am I your whore that you would ask me such a question?"

Bowing. "My name is William Hunter Duncan, and I am in service to you."

"You might try taking yourself less seriously. How is that, as an answer to your questions?"

"All the answer I need."

"You are petulant. Do you understand that I make myself comprehensible to you? If I showed you what I am truly, you would not survive it. If I showed you what you are truly, you would not survive it."

Bowing. "I ask human questions."

"You might try acting like a human sometimes then."

"A human is more than human, you said."

"Yes. And what you become next, will depend on what you do in this life."

"So what am I to do?"

"What you are doing. Just enjoy it more. Be open. Be good and kind to people. Be good and kind to yourself."

"So, what am I? Who am I?"

"Keep asking."