Exasperated, is how you might describe my last post. Guilty. In my defense, I'm right. But that doesn't call for exasperation, really. The emotion was the result of what I did all afternoon, yesterday. I took the train to the mega-mall, the Mall of America, and traversed that insane spiral. It was kids day, or something, which was great, with hordes of beautiful, crazy, goofy kids running all over the place. The area outside Rainforest Cafe was like a stroller parking lot. I'm thinking now, however, I might have soaked up some of the exasperation of parents, hauling their kids around that grand retail vortex at the center of the continent.
My exasperation stemmed from a lot more than that, though.
So many people. Even after most of the kids and parents left, there were still so many people. What are so many people doing, shopping on a Tuesday afternoon in March? Of course, I had to be there to observe so many people shopping. I console myself that I was there as a pirate, on a mission looking for clothes to make me look vaguely pirate-like for one of my dances, this coming Friday and Saturday night at Patrick's Cabaret. I found what I was looking for, sort of, at Old Navy of all places, making that shirt and pants the first and likely last items I ever purchase from Old Navy.
More than exasperation, watching people walking around the spiral, so many of them carrying multiple bags from multiple retailers, wearing clothes advertising brands, I couldn't help but think how many people define themselves with stuff. So much so, it's the foundation of our economy. Seventy percent of our economy is consumer spending, they say, which is a little like saying "continue to define yourselves by your stuff or the economy will collapse." Tying our insecurity to the health of the economy. Like the national debt, held over our heads like a bludgeon, keeping us on the path of insatiability for fear that the whole thing will come tumbling down.
I often feel like time is speeding up, like we are in the midst of a vortex, a whirlpool of Time, and everything is spinning that much faster as we spiral closer to the bottom. The bottom? The bottom of Time? What can that possibly mean, and how close are we to this bottom?
Nowhere near, if you ask the hordes of shoppers, who are doing their patriotic duty, buying stuff they don't need, elaborating on their masks, as thoughtless about the grand ramifications of their lifestyle beyond the tending of the personal ego and the nation's economic growth. Because as far as the mainstream is concerned, America is eternal. If anything, people believe we are spiraling upward into a kind of techno-domestic-paradise where everything we want will be provided for us whenever we want it, as long as we are alive. At least we did, until 2008, when sky gods stole about 3 trillion public dollars, ten million or so lost their jobs, and a few million households fell into dissolution, in the midst of endless war, and disaster piling on disaster all around the globe.
I got to feeling pretty empty myself, by the time I left that grand retail vortex, like my faith in humanity got sucked down into Underwater World to become food for the fishes. And then I came home, to learn more about the spiraling disaster in Japan, and I let loose about Nuclear Energy on this blog.
Then I calmed down, and went back to studying consciousness. Because, increasingly, I have the sense that the vortex of Time spirals to some kind of end - and beginning - on the Winter Solstice of 2012. I hesitate saying so, but then, I'm so far off-the-grid, outside the mainstream at this point, it doesn't matter. It's what I feel, like the end of Time is coming, that it will mean the utter destruction of almost everything we know, but that it will also be a change in global consciousness that will return us to Eden, with the ability and guidance to explore the Tree of Life through the consciousness of dreams, traversing dimensions of consciousness, to bring back information to make this world and this life again, like Eden. Time, after all, does not exist, not at least in the way we perceive it. Quantum physics tells us there are many dimensions, and there is plenty of information out there suggesting consciousness is the only tool we need to explore those dimensions. Unfortunately, to reinforce the rule of sky gods and the path of insatiability, mainstream science tells a story that opening oneself to that realm is the definition of psychosis - mental illness. Never mind Carl Jung spent the bulk of his adult life exploring those realms. Never mind it is the foundation of indigenous belief all over the world. Never mind that virtually every one of us who is open at all has had profound dreams that altered our consciousness in distinct ways, at some point in life.
All across the globe, people are awakening to the realization that this civilization we have built is leading us toward epic collapse. We could prevent that, by dismantling the culture deliberately, but I'm not optimistic. The only thing one can do really, is dismantle the culture within oneself, to open one's self to synchronicity, to let the universe direct your consciousness in the direction you need to expand your consciousness. Immersion in the mainstream is like blindness reinforcing blindness. The Earth, indeed, the whole solar system, even the center of the galaxy, is calling to us now to wake up, to open our eyes - all three of them. And if enough of us do that, who knows, maybe we will dismantle this civilization, before it comes crashing down around us.